Prince Charming
by Hybrid-Demon
Summary: L is a prince. A very bored prince. After a very unplanned suicide attempt quite literally lands him in the arms of his prince charming, he gets the excitement he's been craving. RaitoxL AU Yaoi full summery inside
1. Find Me a Prince

**Summery: L is a prince-- A very bored prince. After a very unplanned suicide attempt -quite literally- lands him in the arms of his prince charming, he gets the excitement he's been craving. However, with this new found pasttime, L and Raito are faced with endless fairytales adventures. Will our couple be able to endure a life like a story book, or will the magical misshaps prove to be too much?**

* * *

L looked out the window of his castle and sighed.

Life was, in short, boring.

_Deathly_ boring.

So boring, in fact, falling out of this window would be the most exciting thing to happen in years.

Not that falling out of windows was boring in any situation.

L just couldn't stand it. His intelligence was wasted on these people. It was wasted in the stone walls of this insufferable castle. It was wasted on the maids who insisted to cut back on his sweets, even though he _needed _every grain of sugar he asks for. It was wasted on his idiot father and his idiot servants, and it was most definitely wasted when all they allowed him to do was sit in this cramped room.

He hated when intelligence was wasted.

There was a knock on the door. The door that was absolutely _wasting _his very large intelligence.

"Come in." He called. Why did he even bother? It was going to be a waste of time.

Oh look, another thing these greedy pigs wasted. His valuable time. So now it was his smarts _and_ his life? How wasteful.

Matsuda opened the door tentatively.

"Your majesty?" He asked, wasting L's precious air.

Really. These people should just die. They wasted way too much of everything.

"What?" L asked, annoyed that he too must waste the air. He gave his silent apologies to the oxygen. It didn't deserved to be used on such senseless humans.

"Your father wanted me to talk to you about possible marriage plans, sir."

L scoffed. His father did this at least once a week. Didn't he get it that he was _not_ going to marry some idiot just because his father wanted him to? L had a mind of his own, which was more than he could say for anyone else in this castle. He needed someone with intelligence to rival his own, not just some bimbo that was after his money.

"What is there to talk about?" L asked, glaring at Matsuda under a mess of ebony locks.

"W-well..." Matsuda started, looking decidedly uncomfortable under L's eyes. The prince had a way of making even the smartest man feel like a complete and total idiot. Really, it was a waste that the king kept his son locked up like this. He could really change the world.

"The king has agreed to listen to your expectations of a bride, and will seek out a lady to fit those needs."

"That is an ugly, wasteful sentence, Matsuda-san."

"Wha--?" Matsuda asked, staring at L like he was an alien creature. "Why do you say that, mi'lord?"

"Easy." L replied, yawning and looking out his window. "The king will not hear me out. _You_ will listen to me about my ideal mate and then tell him, then he will send soldiers to scour the countryside in search of this person. He will not personally do any of it."

Matsuda looked at him with wide eyes. "Yes sir, I suppose that is true, but--"

"I refuse to comply until you tell me the truth."

Matsuda stumbled over his words, hopelessly trying to make sense of the situation, L blatantly ignoring him like he had never existed.

"Okay your majesty, your father sent me to get details of the girl you would like to wed, so that I in turn can tell him everything you told me, and then he will order an army to ravage the earth until this dream girl is found."

L nodded, accepting his presence once again.

"Well, first off, I'm starting to think that I would rather a prince than a princess."

Matsuda's eyes bulged. "A p-prince?!" He gasped.

"Why yes." L replied, chewing on his thumb. "Princesses these days are much to stupid. It's a waste of intelligence, and I _hate_ it when people waste intelligence."

Matsuda stuttered, but L stopped him before he could form and speak a complete thought.

"Unfortunately, princes are getting stupider, too. All they do is run around, save princesses and getting turned into frogs. It's despicable, I say. Who would want to save a ditz just to end up getting eaten by a dragon? That is the most blatant waste of intelligence I've ever witnessed."

Matsuda, finally in control of his tongue and using his select bit of unwasted intelligence to form a thought smart enough to leave his mouth, spoke. "Well, okay sir, but what would you want in this prince/princess? Just tell me the features of the one you fantasize about and let us attempt to find them!"

L looked up at the ceiling, biting his thumb thoughtfully.

"I want someone male. Handsome. How about lighter hair? But not blonde. I don't want anymore blondes after all those stereotypical girls father brought for me to court. I want him to be smart. Like me. I want him to have the same intelligence and views I have." He looked at Matsuda, daring the man to defy him. "Go on, find him for me."

Matsuda left the room at once. L turned back to the window.

_"Now, about that whole falling idea. What are the chances I would die...?"_

* * *

A day later, L watched as his fathers selection of knights set out on their pampered horses and went to "ravage" the countryside in search of his dream man. L chuckled to himself. He could only imagine the look on his father's face when Matsuda told him his dream "bride" was to was to be male. He would have _loved_ to be there when his father relayed this message to the knights. The look on their faces when they were told to find the prince a prince would be priceless.

A few days after that, they returned with a hooded figure holding onto a knight as they rode into the courtyard. L was surprised-- had they really found him his prince charming? Excited, he jumped in front of his mirror, checking to make sure he didn't have any dirt on his face. He momentarily regretted the black and purple bags under his eyes, showing the world that he was an insomniac. At first he'd told Matsuda to find him a man to scare everybody and to have a good laugh when he turned down the unsuspecting prince. But now he couldn't help but feel of sliver of hope; what if they had found him a lover? The man he described was sounding better by the second.

Oh-- how he wished he'd tried to get more sleep. The black circles had a kid of undead effect against his pale skin. Whoever this person is will think he's a zombie or a vampire!

Ah well, that would just earn him a much more interesting reputation. If this turned out to be a bust, he vowed that he wouldn't let his ghastly appearance go to waste.

He heard footsteps running up the stone steps to his room. He stepped away from the mirror and sat down on his bed, his knees to his chest in a kind of mockery of the fetal position.

His door opened.

"Son!" His father exclaimed. "Look who I've found for you!"

"Who the _knights_ found for me. Stop wasting you time trying to make yourself look better."

His father ignored his sons rantings and pushed the hooded person into the room.

"Here you go, L! Let your love light the way."

L got to his feet and crept closer to the hooded man. Chewing on his thumb, he attempted to inspect the hooded strangers face, but they bowed their head enough to enshroud their features in shadows. Diligently at first, he grabbed their hood, fingering the soft fabric before ripping it off.

The dark clothe flew back to reveal a short blonde girl with a radiant smile. At first she looked just as repulsed by L as he was by her, but then must have remembered something important and decided to throw her arms around him instead.

_Attempt_ to throw her around him.

For L would have none of that. He stopped the girl and pushed her back.

"Father, she is not what I asked for."

"I'm sorry Son, but you _will _marry her."

"Never."

"Look, Misa is a suitable princess! Just take her as you bride!"

"Look," L hissed, glaring daggers at his father. "I don't _want_ to marry Misa. I'd rather _die_ than be forced into marriage!"

"Fine!" His father roared. "Then do it! Die!"

So that's exactly was L did.

L turned and dove out the open window.

Every gasped. He heard his father scream, "L! No!"

And as L tumbled out of the window, he started to think that maybe this wasn't a good idea. The ground was closer than he expected. What if he didn't die, but just injured himself?

"Ah, hell--" He swore, the ground looming up to meet and crush, but not kill, him.

He clenched his eyes shut, preparing for the worst.

Instead he heard some yelling and a pair of strong arms catch him.

He opened his eyes, the world around him rolling and tossing as the horse reared, threatening to throw him and his savior off. Whoever had caught him pulled him closer, holding him to their chest with one hand and holding onto the horse with the other.

L tried to curl up into a ball, clutching at the stranger. The horse calmed, and he looked up to see just _who_ had saved him from crippling injury.

He looked up and into the most stunning amber-brown eyes ever.

The face those eyes belonged to smiled. Oh what a heavenly smile! What a heavenly face, framed by heavenly honey-brown hair! What a heavenly handsome man.

L stared up at this breathtaking man, cursing all the people that wasted the air that he was so suddenly in desperate need of.

"Well my, my," this heavenly man hummed, "It would appear angels are falling from the sky these days."

* * *

**I had the oddest urge to write a Romeo and Juliet type fic, but then it blossomed into a normal fairytale. The characters will most likely be a little bit (if not a lot...) OOC, but I think that that's slightly acceptable, considering the situation I've decided to put these love birds in. **

**There's not much to say, accept that I hope you enjoy, and if you did find this amusing in the least bit, it will have very irregular update patterns, considering I have another fanfic that takes up most of my time (Despite that fact it takes me forever to update.)**

**-Hybrid**

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	2. Impulse Trading

"Well my, my," this heavenly man hummed, "It would appear angels are falling from the sky these days."

L blinked up at this... this... _prince charming_.

"I'm sorry to point out the obvious, but it's safe to assume that you fell from that window up there?"

Dumbly, L nodded.

"Which can accurately lead me to believe that you are the prince of this castle?"

Again, L nodded.

"Well then, sir, I do think that you have my princess."

L's already inhumanly wide eyes widened even further. "I-I--"

His prince shook his head, annoyed. "It's a pain, really, to have to go after her. But it's my quest. Princesses are _so_ bothersome."

L gaped.

Finally, somebody that thought like him! His prince has come!

"L!"

L turned his head, taking his dark eyes off of his angelic Casanova to look at his father. Following his father was everyone who happened to see L's not so heroic dive from the stone castle.

"Oh L, Son, I'm so glad you're alright."

L rolled his eyes. He did not need his father's fake pity.

"Raito!" Princess Misa called, clasping her hands together,

"Oh God." L's light haired hero shook his head. "Someone, please, kill me." he whispered to L.

"L!" his father yelled again. "Get down here!"

That was when L realized what the actual situation looked like.

He was on a horse.

In the arms of the man that saved him.

Clutching to him like there was no tomorrow.

L loosened his grip, but Raito, as he was called, smiled and pulled him even closer.

L was grateful for his amazing ability to control his emotions.

It would absolutely ruin his image if he started blushing like hapless princess.

Raito climbed off his horse, L still in his arms. He set the ruffled prince on his feet, where L instantly fell into his signature slouching position. Raito eyed him for a second.

"Do you always stand like that?"

"Yes." L replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

"RAIIIIITOOOOOOO!!" Misa sang, throwing her arms around Raito. A series of emotions flashed across Raito's face. First shock, than disgust, and then anger. He didn't return the hug, but Misa didn't seem to mind.

"My knight! My Raito! You came for me! Oh, my love, take me away from this horrid place!"

"Er--" Raito started. The King cut him off.

"I'm sorry sir, but I can not allow you to do that."

"But, I--"

"What do you mean he can't do that?!" Misa snapped, turning her head to look at the King.

"I need you to marry my son. I'm sorry, Princess Misa, but that is how it has to be. Besides, I payed money for you."

"What?! Never! My Prince has come, and their is no way I am marrying your monkey of a son!"

"I'm standing right here you know." L pointed out, getting the feeling that his presence had been forgotten.

Misa turned to face him, "Good, then you can hear it: I am _not_ marrying you!"

"That's fine. I don't want to marry you either."

"Shut up!" L's father roared. "You two, stop complaining! And you, prince who saved my son from killing himself! Leave and never come back!"

"No Raito! Don't leave without me!" Misa shrieked, gripping Raito tighter. Raito sighed and pushed her away.

"Look," he started. Misa looked up at him with big eyes. "It's obvious that you don't want... L? Very much."

L's father looked at his unruly son before nodding. "Okay. And I don't want Misa very much."

Misa's jaw dropped. "What?!" She yelled, pounding on Raito's chest. "You can't mean that!"

"So how about a trade?"

"A.. trade?" the King asked.

"Yes. I'll let you keep Princess Misa in exchange for Prince L."

The King rubbed his chin as if deep in thought. Finally, he answered. "Yes. That is a fair trade."

Raito smiled. Misa looked up at him with ungodly large eyes before passing out. L stared at Raito with wide eyes, not entirely sure why this stranger, no matter how fine he may be, just traded a perfectly good princess for _him_.

"Well, I'm very glad that's settled. I do believe Prince L and I will be leaving now." Raito turned to face L and smiled. L almost melted. But he didn't. Because L does not melt, no matter how hot that smile was.

No melting.

"Well, certainly L would want to pack his belongings and you two would like to rest up before you leave." The King said quickly, looking more than kind.

"No thank you, Father." L said just as quickly. "I would like to leave here as soon as possible."

"Even without your stuff?" His father asked.

"Yes." L said, not even bothering to give an explanation.

His father shrugged. "Good luck then. I hope you're not eaten by a dragon."

L rolled his eyes and climbed up on to the horse. Raito was about to mount, when he realized something.

"I don't care how much of a hurry you are in to get out of here," He said to L, looking at him with commanding eyes. "But I am not taking you a foot away from this castle unless you have a cloak."

L was about to speak when Matsuda cut him off.

L mentally scolded Matsuda. How dare he interrupt the Great L?!

Matsuda ran up to the horse, and with a bow, shoved a cloak and a box into the princes hands.

"I've brought you a cloak and a box of sweets for your journeys." Matsuda said, proud of himself.

L blinked down at the box. Was he really about to leave the kingdom and go an undetermined amount of time without sugar? The gods, was he insane?

"Thank you, Matsuda. Good luck to you." L said, tucking the box into a pouch on the horse and slipping the cloak around his shoulders. Raito climbed onto the horse in front of L, bid ado to L's father, Princess Misa, whom had since awoken from her fainting spell, and anyone else who happened to be standing around there at that time, and rode away, L sitting uncomfortably behind him.

The castle was out of sight when he sighed heavily, feeling as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"I'm sorry that our first meeting and following conversations were so rushed. It was quite impulsive, really." He said, shaking his head slightly. "I'm just glad to be rid of her."

"Why?" L asked.

"I've been forced to chase that troublesome girl everywhere. It's been quite angering."

L scowled. "Quite the prince charming I see."

Raito smiled, laughing easily. "I am the definition of Prince Charming."

L smiled too. "Are you now?"

"Oh yes." You look up 'Prince Charming' in the dictionary and you'll see a painting of me, with my weight, height, measurements, hair, eye, and skin tone, background information and personality traits."

"I've read the dictionary." L said with a smirk. "I do believe I would have recognized you."

"It's in this years version. The one with murgalthorpe as the word to describe the process of a prince becoming a frog."

L shook his head "It's a shame they must keep changing that word to foil evil godmothers and their prince-to-frog plans. However, I don't believe they'll have any potions that can incorporate 'Murgalthorpe' into the mix for a while." he adjusted himself to get a little more comfortable on the black stallion, thinking about the answer to his next question. What if Raito wasn't as smart as he thought he was? What if Raito wasn't the perfect one for him? "and I suppose you've been a frog once, like all prince charmings?"

"Oh, Heavens no! I'm not an idiot like the rest of humanity. I've gotten out of every Prince-to-frog situation with my quick wits and high intelligence."

L almost melted. Raito was perfect! He felt himself growing hot, and feared he _would_ melt. But he was L! He does not melt!

No melting!

"It's refreshing to meet someone as smart as I am." L said lightly.

"I agree. Everything up to this moment was just a waste." Raito replied.

L was in love.

* * *

**And with much anticipation, I present to ye, the second chapter!**

**I am really quite shocked with the outcome of this. I do believe that this is my fastest growing story. It only had one chapter, but it got me 25 reviews, 410 hits, 10 faves and 25 alerts. I was surprised. Pleasantly surprised, but surprised none the less.**

**I would like to take this time to apologize for the very fast pace so far. I had all these ideas to fill in the beginning, but they left me before I could write them down.**

**The next chapter will be out soon (hopefully-- If I can get off my lazy butt and write).**

**And remember-- reviews make me write, writing makes chapters, and chapters make you happy. So take a second and leave a few words. I'll love you for it! --Hearts--**

**-Hybrid**


	3. Sleepless Beauty

Night was falling, and L had limited himself to one cupcake. He'd also snuck a few bites of a sugar cookie, but it's not like Raito cared.

"How long 'til we get to the castle?" He asked, thinking about the sweets the castle would hold. Surprisingly, Raito laughed.

"I've been thinking about it, and I've decided that we wont return to my kingdom."

L stared blindly at the back of Raito's head. "What?!" he gasped.

Raito laughed nervously. "My father would send me back for the princess." He said quietly, leading the horse down a rocky hillside.

"Would he now?"

"Oh yes, he wouldn't be happy at all. So we're running away together."

"Running away? And where, do you suppose, will we end up?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but we are on a quest..."

"A quest? A quest for what?"

"There is a dragon that lives in a mountain three weeks on horse back, West from a cave up ahead. We will leave for there tomorrow morning."

"What will we get for this dragon?"

"If we bring back it's head, you and I will be able to live together as kings."

L heard him say "together", but he had no idea what he meant by it. He didn't know a thing about this prince, or his feelings for L. He'd called him "angel," so that had to mean something.

They arrived at the cave mere minutes after. Raito jumped off the horse, and turned to help L down. L rejected his assistance and jumped down beside the lighter haired boy.

"I'm no princess." L stated, walking towards the dark opening cave. Raito smiled and shook his head.

"Far from." He muttered and attempted to pull the horse after L and into the cave.

The black stallion wouldn't move.

"Screw you." the horse growled, it's voice low and scratchy.

L stopped and turned around, his wide eyes even wider.

"Ryuk..." Raito hissed, glaring at the steed.

"Find me a tasty apple and I might consider it." Ryuk said, throwing an equally evil glare back at Raito.

"Raito... why is your horse talking?"

"Because I'm not a horse!" Ryuk whinnied loudly.

"You look like a horse."

"Can horses talk?"

"You can."

"Because I'm not a horse!" Ryuk yelled, blowing air angrily through his nostrils.

"Then what are you?" L asked, chewing on his thumb, his head cocked to one side adorably.

"A shingami." Ryuk said nastily.

"A death God, hmm? But you look like a horse." L said, pointing at Ryuk.

A vein in Ryuk's forehead twitched.

"**_I look like a horse because some witch turned me into one!_**" he yelled as loud as he could.

L blinked at Ryuk, looking virtually un-fazed by the screaming. "You didn't have to yell. You could have just told me."

Ryuk reared up, kicking his front legs in a display of rage. Before the once-death-god could do any damage, Raito stuffed a shiny red apple into his mouth. Ryuk stopped, and ate the fruit contently.

Raito coaxed him to the cave. He asked L to gather some wood for a fire while he set up camp.

L wandered around the gradually darkening forest, collecting a large armful of sticks. As he walked, he worried about his sweets. He was  
going to be out here for an undetermined amount of time, with only a small box of sugar to satisfy him?

This was horrible! Preposterous! Impossible!

He _couldn't_ do it!

Very much scared of his sweetless dilemma, L made his way back to the cave where he was greeted by a sweet smile courtesy of Raito.  
He relished in the softness of the smile before dropping to the floor and telling Raito, without words, that he can take over now with the fire. He heard Raito busying himself, clattering and stick-hitting and Raito readied the fire pit.

L was becoming borderline obsessive. At least three weeks. Three weeks of no sweets. It was frightening.

And to think he wasted that half of a sugar cookie! Oh, the shame!

"Hey, are you okay?" Raito asked, suddenly invading L's bubble. L looked up.

"No." he said. Raito blinked.

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because I'm going to run out of sweets." L said. Raito blinked.

"I'm sure we'll find a vendor that sells cake at some point." Raito said, hoping to give some hope to the messy haired prince. "Why do you  
need sweets?"

"I become stupid without them." L announced. Raito blinked.

"That's it?"

"Not exactly, but that is the most important side effect. The others include random blackouts, nausea, dizziness, and exhaustion and fatigue.  
Should these symptoms occur, supply patient with sweets immediately."

Raito blinked. "Right..." he said quietly. "I'll keep those in mind. Anyway, what do you want for supper?"

"Cake."

"Something other than cake."

"Pie."

"L..."

"What?"

"A real food."

"Cake is real food."

Raito let out an exasperated sigh.

"I'm sorry, Raito!" L said quickly. "I didn't mean to make you angry."

"I'm not angry. I'll just cook some random woodland creature, okay?"

L nodded.

After dinner, which happened to be roasted raccoon, Raito and L retired to the blankets that had been set up to resemble beds on the uncomfortable cave floor.

"Goodnight." Raito said, getting comfortable.

"I'm an insomniac."

It was quiet.

"I wont go to sleep for a long time."

Again, silence.

"I will stay up thinking and watching you sleep."

Raito rolled over and looked at the older prince. "As least try to sleep, okay?" L nodded. "I'm going to bed now. Whatever happens after I become unconscious is for you are your insomniac-like tendencies to work out." then the teen rolled back over and promptly fell asleep.

So L did exactly what he said he'd do.

He thought and watched Raito sleep.

Hours later, around 3:00 in the morning L guessed, he finally fell asleep.

Only to be woken up an hour later by evil witch laughter.

He opened his eyes to find Raito imprisoned by a snow white, giant spiders web.

"Well," the caught boy mused aloud, "This was unexpected."

* * *

**Oh my god. So long to update. My utmost apologies to you all. The next one will be up soon.**

**I've been so preoccupied with my other fic that I completely forgot about this. Then, tonight, I was, for whatever reason, reminded of this, and finished typing this up. I hope I didn't disappoint. I think I could have done better, but I was writing it at 2:00 in the morning. I promise the next chapter will be better. I swear it.**

**Anyway, until we meet again!**

**-Hybrid**


	4. Arachnophobia

"Well," the caught boy mused aloud, "This was unexpected."

L's eyes widened as he scrambled away from the captive Raito.

In the entrance of the cave, still cackling, was a blonde womans torso, on a grotesque grayish-black spiders body. She was laughing as most stereotypical evil witches laugh-- head thrown back, mouth open wide to reveal long fangs, clawed hands held palm up at chest level.

She looked oddly familiar, not that L had ever seen a half spider lady in real life, but he couldn't quite place it.

"Misa..." Raito said menacingly.

"_Oh._" L thought. "_That's it._"

Misa stopped laughing. "Yes, Raito dear?"

"I just wanted to say that you were a stereotypical princess, and now you're just a stereotypical villain."

Misa's pretty blue eyes-- she had just two, thankfully-- blazed red with anger.

"You! You ruined Misa-Misa!"

"How so?" Raito asked, surprisingly calm.

"You stole Misa's heart! _You_ turned Misa into this!"

"No," Raito said, giving an experimental tug on the web cocoon that bound him. "the affair your mother had with a spider demon is what  
made you that."

Misa howled with rage. "How can you say that?!"

"Easily: By opening my mouth, and forming the words. Not to mention that the fact that you have trapped me in a disgustingly sticky spiders web, effectively taking away my ability to move, and you piss me off regularly."

"But I _love_ you, Raito!"

"Last time I checked, most lovestruck girls don't become part spider and tie up their love interest in a web dangling from the top of a cave. Which makes me wonder; how did you do all this with out waking L or me up?"

Suddenly, Misa started to cry. "What was I supposed to do? You like prince L more than you like me!"

"For obvious and simple reasons, I assure you."

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT!" Misa wailed, covering her face with her hands and sobbing.

L took this opportunity to slip out of the cave unnoticed by the Misa-monster. He looked around for something that he could use as a weapon, when he heard talking.

"So _she's_ the bitch that turned me into a horse!?" Ryuk growled.

"Yep." A blue and white cat replied. "She got me too."

"Why'd she turn you?"

"Oh, you know, right place at the wrong time."

"What were you doing?"

"Trying to kill her mother."

L chose this time in the conversation to intrude. "So you were a shinigami too?"

The cat nodded. "The name is Rem."

"And now you're a cat."

"Precisely."

"Are you claws sharp?"

Rem blinked her yellow eyes. "Not as sharp as I want them; I haven't seen any good scratching posts. But they're relatively sharp. Why do you ask?"

L smiled. "I've got a plan for you two."

- - -

"LOVE ME!" Misa roared.

"Never." Raito replied, a bored tone to his voice.

"LOOOVE MEEE!!"

"I refuse."

"LOVE ME, DAMNIT!"

"Now, why would I love a screaming arachnid with a foul mouth?"

"GRAAAH!" Misa screamed. "I'll kill you!"

"Why?"

"Because you wont love me!"

"I hardly think that is a suitable reason to commit murder. Now, if it were revenge, or maybe for justice, but for love? That is the stupid--"

Raito was cut off by a hiss from Misa, her mouth open, acidic venom dripping from her fangs ans sizzling on the floor.

"Misa..." Raito started, squirming in his web confines and eying the acid warily, "maybe we can work something out?"

"Shut up and die-- Ow!" Misa shrieked, a small rock hitting the side of her face. She turned and faced the entrance of the cave.

L stood there, smirking, bouncing another rock in his hand.

"Ugh! I forgot about you!"

"Oh? Did you forget about them too?" L asked, pointing beside him.

Misa scuttled on her eight legs, trying to turn to see behind her, when a furry mass of white came hurtling at her, hissing and spitting.

She screamed and stepped back, a bundle of claws and teeth latching onto her face.

She struggled with it, shrieking like a banshee, before she managed to dislodge the cat and fling into the wall.

She wiped the blood from her eyes, attempting to regain control, only to open her eyes and have a horses ass in her face. Ryuk looked behind him, yellow eyes glaring.

"_This_ is for turning me into a horse--"

_Kick!_ Her head went flying back with a sickening crunch.

"_This_ is for being a whiny whore--"

_Bam!_ This time, his hooves hit her spidery stomach. She coughed and crossed her arms over her torso.

"And _this_ is for giving me _green_ apples!"

_Kick-bam! _Ryuk kicked the unstable spider-woman in the chest, effectively knocking her back and onto the hard floor beside Raito. She  
tried to focus her eyes, but all she could see was L, vacillating on the edge of blurriness and clearness. Then L hit her upside the head with a surprisingly strong fist. Her world went black.

L cocked his head to the side, making sure that she was only unconscious, and not dead. When he was sure that she was just sleeping, he went to Raito and started sawing through the spider silk cocoon from his traveling companions body.

"I'm sorry about that." Raito said, helping L in anyway he could.

"No problem."

"I really didn't think that Misa was a half spider witch wannabe."

"I don't think that is something we could predict."

"Yes, that is true." L cut the last thread and Raito fell to the ground.

L leaned over Raito and smiled. "Ready to leave?"

Raito cracked open one eye. "Let me gather up the stuff."

Soon, the trio plus random cat, which on further thought makes them a troupe, although they were unsure if the cat was going to stay. So, the troupe for the moment were on the road. The horizon was tinted with a light purple and aquamarine. The chilled air bit as L's pale skin, causing shivers to run up and down his spine. He clung closer to Raito, trying to steal some of the other boys warmth, silently cursing Matsuda for grabbing the thin coat.

"Cold?" Raito asked.

"Thank you for pointing out the obvious." L barked.

"It's a question one would ask so they could offer their coat to the one questioned, if they say yes, without the questioned asking for it. Do  
you want my coat?"

"Wont you be cold?"

Raito stopped Ryuk and turned to face L. "I have an idea." He said, shrugging off his wool poncho awkwardly, but with a grace that only Raito could command, he managed to throw it around L before tying it neatly in a knot over his own chest, effectively covering them both.

"See? It also traps our body heat to keep us warmer."

"_And gives me a reason to press up closer to you._" L thought, smiling.

As the air started to warm, Ryuk got enough energy to talk and walk at the same time.

"I had her again. I met the horrid woman and I'm still a horse."

"But you got to kick her." L pointed out.

"Yes, but if I had gotten to kick her _and_ got changed back, then I would be happy."

"At least she didn't throw you against a wall." Rem challenged, shaking a thorn from her paw.

Ryuk stopped abruptly, turning his amber eyes on the white and teal cat.

"_I_ am being _ridden_ by two full grown men. _You_ have no broken bones and are completely fine. _I_ have it worse."

Rem sighed. "Ryuk, I am a cat. It would be impossible for anyone, save for a fairy, to ride me."

Ryuk bristled. "You missed the point of that whole conversation." He hissed.

"No, I just chose to--"

"Help!" A small voice called. "Please, I'm stuck!"

* * *

**Oh goodness, finally. It's out. After such a long wait, chapter 4. And chapter 5 is almost completely written! Finally, I have an idea where this story is going! **

**I hope nobody is offended by my Misa-spider. I actually quite like Misa, but she was so much fun to mutate! Really, writing her with eight legs was interesting. Provided me with entertainment during math class.  
**

**Anywhom, next chapter you meet two more characters! I hope you like what I do to them...  
**


	5. Two's Company, but Six is a Crowd

"Help!" A small voice called. "Please, I'm stuck!"

The four looked around.

"Where?" L asked, scanning the surrounding forest for the voice.

"Down here!" the group looked down. "In the bush!"

Rem padded up to the bush, her ears the most sensitive of them all.

"My God..." she whispered.

"What?" L asked, attempting to peer into the green undergrowth.

"A fairy." Rem said, pulling back a leaf. "It's a Goddamned fairy."

"Thanks, I was unsure of that." The fairy rolled his eyes. "Please, just help me!"

Raito climbed off Ryuk and walked over to the bush. "Fairies are rare these days."

"Please, stop pointing out the obvious!" He seethed.

The fairy had gentle white curls, falling into his gray eyes. He was wearing a loose fitting white tunic with baggy pants. In fact, his whole appearance was rather pale. Except for his wings.

Delicate, sheer black wings sprouted from his back. Minute lines made lace like patterns between two sheets of the fragile material. Sparkles shimmered like stars against a night sky. They resembled that of a butterfly's, but jagged around the edges, as if ripped.

And he was stuck in a spiders web.

"I'm stuck! Help me!"

Raito squatted, looking at the fairy. Slowly, he reached out a hand to gently cup the dainty being and free him from the spider made binds that tied him to the plants, a position the Raito now knew quite well. However, right before he did, a hand shot out and snatched the fairy into the foliage.

Raito gasped, the fairy screamed, and the thieving hand disappeared. On impulse, Raito launched through the bushes after them.

Apparently, the kidnapper wasn't expecting Raito to follow him through the dense forest, for as Raito broke through the wall of leaves, he found the kidnapper and kidnappee just sitting there on the ground.

The kidnapper was blonde, his yellow hair about shoulder length. His eyes were yellow, his pupils slits. He was wearing all black. In his right hand he clutched the fairy.

The trio became quiet, the forest even seeming to sense the awkwardness between them and silencing.

"I... Uh... need that back..." Raito said pointing to the fairy.

"What?!" The boy shot back. "No way! He's mine!"

"But you're going to eat him." Raito reasoned.

"Yeah, so what?!"

"And I was going to save him."

"Well, too bad, I got to him first!"

"Are you hungry? We have apples--"

"Apples?! Ew! I'll consider it if you have any chocolate."

Raito smiled. "We just might."

- - -

The boys emerged from the forest. Raito looked pleased with himself, the young boy at his side looked irked, and the fairy on his  
shoulder looked ruffled.

"L, do you have any chocolate?"'

"Maybe..." L said cautiously.

"Mind if he has some?" Raito gestured at the blonde boy.

L's eyes widened. "But... Raito... They're _mine_. I _need_ them."

Raito walked over to L and put his hand on the other prince's shoulder. "Please L? If you give him these chocolates, I'll buy you 10 pounds of it when we get to a marketplace."

L looked at Raito with a look that resembled puppy eyes. Raito's heart skipped a beat when he saw L, but he quickly hid how cute he thought the other man was. "You promise?" L asked.

"Yes."

Slowly, L reached into his bag and produced a chocolate bar. He handed it to the kid, who howled in joy and viciously grabbed the chocolate bar from L and started devouring it. In his chocolate induced euphoria, two ear sprang up from his golden hair. Raito looked to L, who had a quizzical look on his face, then back at the boy.

"So... What's your name?"

"Mello." The boy managed.

"And what are you?" Mello glared.

"A boy."

"Most boys don't have animal-like ears."

Mello's eyes widened as he choked on a piece of chocolate. "I'm a werewolf." He said quickly.

"No you're not." The fairy said with a bored tone.

"Yes I am! I _so_ am!"

"No, you're not." The fairy replied, turning his calm, gray eyes on the angry boy.

"How would you know?!" Mello barked, snapping off another bite of chocolate.

"You have slitted pupils." The fairy pointed out, twirling his silver locks of hair around deft fingers. "Werewolves don't have slitted  
pupils."

"They do! And I am! Now shut up!"

"Okay," Raito started, cutting the fairy off as he opened his mouth to continue the argument. Werewolf or not, he was _something_ that could very well be dangerous. "we have Mello the werewolf. What's your name?"

"Near," Near said, still twirling his hair. "And if you don't mind, I would like to travel with you for a little while."

L blinked, confused. "Why?"

"I've been followed by misfortune as of late," he glared at Mello, "and would like to have someone there to save me if anything bad were  
to befall me."

L exchanged a glance Raito before turning back to Near. "Yes, for a little ways I suppose." He said, chewing on his thumb.

They heard a scuffling sound. Beside them, Mello drew nervous circles in the dirt with his toe. "Well, I have no one to travel with, and I'm looking for a friend who was kidnapped, not to mention I'm a little bit lost... May I come to?"

Raito shrugged. "The more the merrier, correct?"

Mello flashed Raito a beaming smile.

(Mello and Near have joined your party! Press the start button and go to "Character Stats" to see their abilities.)

As the gradually increasing group started back down the trail, Mello asked where they were heading. "Silver Fox Glen." Raito replied.

"Do you have a map?" Mello asked.

Raito nodded and dug into a bag that Ryuk was carrying. He produced a frayed, yellow map and opened it, attempting to smooth out the wrinkles with his hands. Mello peered at the map before pointing to the trail they were traveling on.

"Ugh, you daft human! We've been heading in the wrong direction!"

Raito blinked, scouring the lines and words. "Oh God, you're right..."

"Of course I'm right!" Mello yelled, grabbing the map from Raito's hands. "From now on, I'm the navigator."

Raito looked at the boy, his mouth a tight line in anger. "I thought you said you were lost!"

"I _was_ because I didn't have a _map_."

Raito covered his face in annoyance.

"Idiot." Near muttered absentmindedly from his perch on Raito's shoulder.

Raito had a feeling he was going to want to strangle someone by the time they got to a city.

* * *

**Oh snap, two chapters within a week! Oh, I am good. (Well, not really, considering it took like... six months to get to chapter five... -.-)**

**And so I have introduced Mello and Near. Ugh, Raito seemed terribly OOC to me. Please, try to ignore it. I'll work on getting him back on track in the next chapter. Oh, how I love the next chapter X3**

**Although not physically typed up, the next chapter is like this little mini-film playing happily in my head, so expect it to come out relatively soon.**

**Anyway, a quick story before I leave: When I was telling my friend that Mello was a werewolf, she's like "What is Near?" I replied with. "Near's a fairy." With a perfectly straight face she said, "Well, we all know that, but what type of mythical creature is he?" Oh God. I could not stop laughing XD**

**I hope you enjoyed! Leave me your thoughts, good, bad, or just neutral. Remember, reviews are my crack :D**

**-Hybrid  
**


	6. A Lesson in Lycanthropy

The day continued on, twilight soon upon them. They stopped at a small stream and set up camp.

Mello was begrudgingly helping L set up the tent when he stopped and literally dropped what he was holding. L looked up at him, thoroughly confused. Mello's eyes were fixed on the horizon where the top of a yellow moon was peeking from behind a foot hill.

"L-L? What day is it?" he asked, eyes wide.

"Uhmm, the 11th."

"Oh, shi--" Mello started, backing away from the dropped poles. "Tonight is a full moon!"

"You're not a werewolf." Near hummed from where he was tying a knot.

"I am!" Mello snapped. "All of you! Stay away from me!" and with that, Mello turned and ran off into the forest.

L and Raito, who was just coming back with water, exchanged a confused look.

"Do you think we should leave him be?" L asked.

"Maybe. He could hurt us if we follow him."

"He could hurt other's if we don't."

Raito smiled "_Just like L, always putting other's before himself._"

"Besides," L continued, "He owes me chocolate. We can't risk losing him now."

Raito's smile faltered.

"He's not going to be a danger to anyone." Near said with a sigh, flitting over to the pair and settling on L's shoulder.

"Okay, if he's not a werewolf, what is he?!" Raito demanded, getting annoyed with the fairys now-it-all attitude.

Near smiled that slightly maniacal smile of his.

"He's a..."

- - -

Mello ran through the forest, glowing bugs hovering in the trees around him, making the night seem serene and calm. The darkness was settling heavily upon the land. The moon had risen enough to shed it's light on Mello, and he could feel himself start to change.

The effort it took to run and transform made him sweat, despite the chill in the air. His golden hair was plastered to his neck and face, his breath coming in ragged gasps. Panting, he burst through the trees and into a small clearing. He fell to his knees and hugged himself, growing nails digging into his shoulders as he doubled over.

"Oh God, oh God, damn, damn, _damn_." he swore beneath his breath, his yellow-orange ears flat against his head.

He screamed, eyes shut tight in agony as his body spasmed painfully.

- - -

"Mello?" Raito called softly, his eyes open wide to notice any slight movement. "Mello? It's okay to come out."

Off to the left, barely noticeable, was pathetic whimpering. The trio followed the sound into a small clearing.

In the middle were Mello's black clothes, rumpled in a heap on the ground.

"Mello?" Raito called again, looking around. He was beginning to have his doubts about what the fairy told him. That scream they heard earlier sounded pretty blood curdling.

Just then, the clothes moved.

Raito took a step back, his arm shooting out across L's chest, keeping him back.

L's face flushed, dark eyes turning to look at the other prince. "_He cares about me. He wants to protect me._"

But his silent gloating was cut short by a twitching smile on Raito's full lips. L followed Raito's gaze back to the clothes.

His face too cracked into a wide foolish grin.

There, poking its fluffy little head from inside the pile of clothes, was a yellow kitten.

The kitten pulled itself free from the fabric and shook it's self vigorously. It licked its paw adorably and swiped it over its ear.

Then it heard the choked giggles of the pair standing off to the side, watching its darling display of innocence.

Jumping up and turning with a look that can only be described as "rabid" (picture bloodthirsty on a kitten), its lips pulled back in a vicious (cherubic) snarl, its fuzzy ears flat against its head. Its amber eyes widened, however, when it saw exactly _who_ was laughing.

"Oh no, oh crap." The kitten whisper hoarsely.

"Mello, why did you lie to us?" L asked, chewing on his thumb.

"Wouldn't you?!" Mello yelled. Or, tried to yell. It's hard to be threatening when you're a kitten.

L and Raito, of course, sniggered at Mello's attempt to be tough. Mello bristled.

"You see what I mean?!" Mello snapped, padding towards them on feet as soft as peach fuzz. "How scary is a werecat? Who in his right mind would be afraid of a _kitten_?! What's menacing about this?!" To punctuate his rant, Mello fluffed himself up and bared his teeth at L and Raito, who in turn choked, trying hard not to "aww" over the angry kitten-boy.

Mello glared at them and gave himself another shake.

"So," Raito started, taking a deep breath, "how did this happen?"

"When I was younger, I was scratched by a stray cat. That's it."

"Well, that was anticlimactic." Near said boredly, speaking for the first time since they found the werecat.

Raito turned to the fairy. "That reminds me, how did you know that Mello wasn't a werewolf?"

Near stuck his lips out cutely, pouting. "I told you when we first met." He said quietly. "His pupils are slitted. Werewolves don't have slitted pupils. Only werecats do. Just like were-elephants have long noses, and were-oysters have really hard, rough skin. Any were-animal keeps some of the animal as a part of them, even in their human form."

L and Raito exchanged odd looks.

"What?" Near asked, "Did they never teach you that?"

Raito shrugged. "Because of where we live, the scholars just skimmed over werecreatures. They thought the chances of us encountering one were slim to none, and only taught us how to defend ourselves from a were_wolf_. Any other animal is so rare..."

"Figures." Near said, taking flight. "Humans were never very intelligent."

Raito opened his mouth to protest, but L laid a hand on his arm. "_Let it go_." the darker haired boy mouthed. Raito rolled his eyes but said nothing.

"Shall we be leaving then?" Near inquired, coming back to the group with a glowing moon berry in his hands. "We still have to finish setting up camp.

- - -

After a tasty dinner of roasted potatoes, the troupe sat around the fire, enjoying the night before they had to retreat to their makeshift tent.

"I'm a night fairy." Near said suddenly.

The others gave him a weird look.

"Okay." Mello said, licking the fur on his chest. "Why did we need to know this?"

"Well, I figured since we know what you are, I thought you might want to know about me."

"That's fascinating." L said, leaning in close to the fairy. "What was it about night fairies? I can't quite recall it..."

"We're mini-vampires with wings."

The camp got deathly quiet. Even the fire seemed to stop crackling.

"I turn into a bat on the night of a new moon." Near continued with a casual wave of his hand, making it seem like it wasn't a big deal.

"That's a big deal." Raito breathed.

Ryuk looked at the fairy like he was brandishing a bloody ax and screaming in Egyptian. "Does that mean you're going to suck my blood?"

"No, you idiot." Rem said, swatting at Ryuks ankles.

"She's right." Near said. "Like all vampires, we need the blood of the same race, not just some random creature."

If possible, Ryuks eyes widened even more. "So you're also a cannibal?!"

"No! Not exactly!" Near put his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes. "Never mind. We'll talk about it in the morning, when I have enough stamina to converse with idiots." With that, he flew to the tent and got lost in the warm folds of the blankets, falling asleep. The rest, save for poor Ryuk, followed him in, sleeping peacefully.

Except for L. Who stayed up and watched Raito sleep.

* * *

**Yay! Chapter six!**

**And now the truth is out. Mello was never a werewolf. Ever. From the very beginning I was planning on making him a feline. And the thing about Near. Well. I really wanted to make him a vampire, but I thought fairy fit him more. But I still missed his non-existent vampireness. So I made him both. **

**Chapter seven will be out someday. I love that chapter. To death. For you meet another character.**

**- -BLOOPERS- -**

**While planning this chapter, I kept getting weird ideas, which are now the following. I may start doing these after every chapter, just because I want to share how my mind works. You may recognize these from popular interweb lulz.**

** ---  
**

"I'm sure we'll find a vendor that sells cake at some point." Raito said, hoping to give some hope to the messy haired prince. "Why do yo need sweets?" 

"I become stupid without them." L announced. Raito blinked.

"That's it?"

"Not exactly, but that is the most important side effect. Other side effects include, but are not limited to: random blackouts, nausea, dizziness, exhaustion and fatigue, and the odd urge to SHOOP DA WHOOP!!1"

"AHH YOU BEAT MEH!!11!"

---

"Misa, ssrly. gtfo." Raito said, glaring at the spider woman.. thing.

"But Raito! You don't understand!" She cried, tears brimming her eyes.

"What?!"

Misa made the "I love you" with both of her hands and pointed them at Raito. "HOW DO I SHOOT WEB?!"

---

**I hang out with my brother entirely too much. Don't hate meh.**

**So, to bring this AN to an end, I have but one more announcement. I am now whoring for reviews, and may start up a quiz like thing to entertain you after my short chapters are over. Your reviews are my crack, and now I crave them every waking minute (It could just be it's Summer and I'm bored out of my skull). So prepare yourselves to answer random questions with even more random "prizes."**

**Thank you for reading! I'm so happy I have your love!**

**-Hybrid**

**(P.S. Who can tell I'm a little hyper tonight?)****  
**

**  
**


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